Stop Avoiding Conflict: How to Handle Difficult Conversations with Dr. Irvine Nugent
Beyond Staying Calm: Handling Difficult Conversations at Work
Dr. Irvine Nugent on Deep Leadership with Jon S. Rennie
You can keep your voice steady and still stop listening. You can appear composed while becoming more certain that your interpretation is the only reasonable one.
Dr. Irvine Nugent joins Jon S. Rennie on Deep Leadership to discuss what it takes to remain constructive during workplace conflict—and why simply telling yourself to stay calm may not be enough.
Drawing on his upbringing during the Troubles in Northern Ireland and his experience leading organizations, Irvine explores how leaders can recognize their reactions, address tension earlier, and help people feel heard.
In This Conversation
Why avoiding a difficult conversation can make it harder to have later
The difference between appearing calm and remaining open to another perspective
Recognizing the situations and behaviors that trigger strong reactions
How slowing down creates room for listening and better decisions
Helping someone feel heard without having to agree
How constructive disagreement can contribute to learning and stronger teamwork
Calm on the Outside, Defensive on the Inside
A measured tone can help a conversation, but it doesn’t tell the whole story. Internally, a leader may be rehearsing a rebuttal, dismissing the other person’s concerns, or looking for the quickest way to end the discussion.
Irvine explores why emotional awareness and curiosity matter alongside composure. Noticing your reaction gives you a chance to slow down, check an assumption, and hear something you might otherwise miss.
Addressing Tension While You Still Have Options
Putting off a conversation can bring immediate relief. Meanwhile, frustration may build and assumptions can become harder to question.
This episode considers how leaders can address concerns before they become entrenched. That includes preparing thoughtfully, recognizing personal triggers, and taking time to understand the other person’s perspective before moving toward a solution.
Helping someone feel heard doesn’t require agreement. It requires showing that you have listened and taken their concerns seriously.
About Dr. Irvine Nugent
Dr. Irvine Nugent, CSP, PCC, is a workplace conflict keynote speaker and co-founder of Conflict EQ. He helps leaders recognize how conflict shapes their reactions—and stay grounded, clear, and constructive when tension rises.
