Workplace Conflict Starts Inside the Leader | Ep. 106
Before the Difficult Conversation: What’s Happening Inside You?
Dr. Irvine Nugent on the Let’s Think About It Podcast with Coach Mo | Episode 106
You haven’t spoken to the other person yet, but you’ve already imagined their reaction, rehearsed your defense, and wondered whether saying anything is worth the risk.
Dr. Irvine Nugent joins Coach Mo to explore this often-overlooked part of workplace conflict: what happens inside a leader before a difficult conversation begins.
Drawing on his upbringing during the Troubles in Northern Ireland, his organizational leadership experience, and his work with leaders and teams, Irvine discusses how anticipation, emotions, and assumptions influence the way we approach disagreement.
In This Conversation
How imagined outcomes can make a conversation harder before it starts
Recognizing the emotions, physical signals, and stories shaping your response
Why searching for the perfect words can become another reason to delay
How to acknowledge and repair a moment that doesn’t land well
Learning to stay present when a conversation feels uncomfortable
Why the presence you bring matters alongside the words you choose
The Story You Bring Into the Room
Preparing for a difficult conversation can be helpful. But preparation can also turn into a private rehearsal of everything that might go wrong.
You may decide how the other person will react before giving them a chance to respond. Or spend so much time planning your explanation that you arrive ready to defend yourself rather than listen.
Irvine explores how self-awareness helps leaders notice these patterns. Recognizing an assumption doesn’t make the discomfort disappear, but it creates room to approach the conversation with greater curiosity and choice.
You Don’t Need a Perfect Script
Difficult conversations rarely unfold exactly as planned. Waiting until you know precisely what to say can keep an important issue unaddressed.
This episode explores the value of entering the conversation prepared to listen, adjust, and repair. If something comes out poorly, you can acknowledge it. If you’ve misunderstood, you can ask another question.
The goal is not flawless delivery. It is staying attentive to the person, the issue, and your own response—even when tension rises.
About Dr. Irvine Nugent
Dr. Irvine Nugent, CSP, PCC, is a workplace conflict keynote speaker and co-founder of Conflict EQ. He helps leaders recognize how conflict shapes their reactions—and stay grounded, clear, and constructive when tension rises.
